I have to say being the 1st in your family to break the mold is TOUGH. No easy way to say it. That's why I am asking for all "pinata breakers" to unite -- aka pioneers of the world hear my call.
I was talking to someone I love dearly who is experiencing "the joy of being the 1st" and I feel for her dearly.
It's tough being the 1st period but when you are a Latina female, it's sometimes even tougher. There are expectations placed on you -- culturally, by family, by you, etc. We are considered to betray the family or our culture if we go against the norm they placed on us. Who said you have to follow a certain pattern? Just because your tia, or abuelita, or mom did it that way does not mean you or I have to.
As a Latina, doing what others consider "usual" things are considered "radical, new" experiments by our family. For instance, I moved out of my parent's house and you would have tought I had literally torn my father's heart of his chest (okay, maybe I did but didn't he see this one coming). As a kid, I remember asking to attend a sleepover. "Que, que??" Somehow, someway I managed to make that one happen.
Growing up, this "breaking the mold" does not getting any easier.
You: "Hey, I want to go to college away from home."
Parents: "Why? Don't you love us anymore? Y nosotros que.."
Your Reaction: "I am going to XYZ city or state, not to another freakin country."
You: "Dad, I met the man of my dreams but he is not Mexican (or fill in the blank -- Puerto Rican, Cubano, etc.)."
Dad: "Mija, yo no se pero pienso que a la mejor no es para ti. La vida sera dificil porque no entiende nuestra familia/cultura."
Your Reaction: What? I am an adult and I can choose any man to be by my side.
You: "Guess what? I am buying my house."
Them (aka Family): "Sola, vas a comprar la casa sola. Con quien vas a vivir?"
Your Reaction: Dude, if I waited until I got married to buy a house, I'd be waiting...Not only that I can afford my own house so why not?"
Does any of this sound familiar? If yes, lift up your homemade broomstick "palo" and hit your own "pinata." Join me as a "pinata breaker." It will be uncomfortable but so much fun.
Anyway, you'll give your familia something to talk about during the holidays. Yes, you'll become the "chisme."
I was talking to someone I love dearly who is experiencing "the joy of being the 1st" and I feel for her dearly.
It's tough being the 1st period but when you are a Latina female, it's sometimes even tougher. There are expectations placed on you -- culturally, by family, by you, etc. We are considered to betray the family or our culture if we go against the norm they placed on us. Who said you have to follow a certain pattern? Just because your tia, or abuelita, or mom did it that way does not mean you or I have to.
As a Latina, doing what others consider "usual" things are considered "radical, new" experiments by our family. For instance, I moved out of my parent's house and you would have tought I had literally torn my father's heart of his chest (okay, maybe I did but didn't he see this one coming). As a kid, I remember asking to attend a sleepover. "Que, que??" Somehow, someway I managed to make that one happen.
Growing up, this "breaking the mold" does not getting any easier.
You: "Hey, I want to go to college away from home."
Parents: "Why? Don't you love us anymore? Y nosotros que.."
Your Reaction: "I am going to XYZ city or state, not to another freakin country."
You: "Dad, I met the man of my dreams but he is not Mexican (or fill in the blank -- Puerto Rican, Cubano, etc.)."
Dad: "Mija, yo no se pero pienso que a la mejor no es para ti. La vida sera dificil porque no entiende nuestra familia/cultura."
Your Reaction: What? I am an adult and I can choose any man to be by my side.
You: "Guess what? I am buying my house."
Them (aka Family): "Sola, vas a comprar la casa sola. Con quien vas a vivir?"
Your Reaction: Dude, if I waited until I got married to buy a house, I'd be waiting...Not only that I can afford my own house so why not?"
Does any of this sound familiar? If yes, lift up your homemade broomstick "palo" and hit your own "pinata." Join me as a "pinata breaker." It will be uncomfortable but so much fun.
Anyway, you'll give your familia something to talk about during the holidays. Yes, you'll become the "chisme."
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Ah, Edna Zula...I do feel for ya! I guess I had the same reactions (to every single example you provided) but I was "blessed" (lol) with the ability to disappoint my parents without feeling guilty. Or maybe without letting the guilt stop me from doing what I was going to do. The main difference is that my parents figured out I was the black sheep at age 14 so they're pretty much used to it by now, whereas your are finding out now. But the prize is, as a 33-y-o Latina, I have their complete respect (even my DAD'S!) as a woman who thinks for herself, even when they don't agree. So it's just a late start for you, but it gets easier as the years pass. Trust me. Good post.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the 1st post from one of my favorite people. It's the little things in life that make me happy.
ReplyDeleteYes, Yvonne, I am on the slow bus on the slow lane. I'm glad to hear it gets better with age. Now, I try to have fun with my parent's reactions. I have to laugh. If not, I'll go crazy.