Dios Mio

Today I was reminded of my own mortality. I flew to the last class I had in my Texas Public Policy & Candidate Training Program, a joint program by Las Comadres Para Las Americas and the UT LBJ School of Public Policy. I’ll write about this program in the near future too, but I have to share what happened with me today.

I have flown several times, enough where it has become routine for me. Today I was expecting nothing different. Minutes prior to landing, the flight attendants started telling us we were going to have an emergency landing. They told us to immediately move to the back of the plane and sit down and assume the braced position. They told us where to place our hands and head. I did what I was told not knowing what to expect.

As I was sitting there in a braced position, I started thinking and praying. I had a thousand thoughts running through my mind. I thought I should have driven instead of flown. I only flew because my car’s breaks were squeaky and my friends were telling me that it could be dangerous driving. I thought about the things I still had left to do. I always tell people I have a list of things to do before I die. I thought about my family. I told God I wasn’t ready yet but that if he could to prepare me. I told him I loved him but I wasn’t ready to see him just yet. I still had much to do.

I just remember praying, asking God for our safety and the tears began to well up in my eyes. We finally landed safely and I was expecting some sound or something but it was silent. I remember the pilot saying we had landed safely and to stay seated. I looked up from my braced position and wiped my eyes. Tears had welled up in my eyes but did not come out. I wiped the corner of my eyes since I could feel the tears.

Talk about shock and awe. I just sat there and I couldn’t do anything except turn on my cell phone. I immediately texted a couple of close friends and told them what happened. My nerves were frazzled.

For a while this morning, I felt like I was going through the motions. I grabbed a taxi to go to my class and the driver asked me how my flight went and I couldn’t say much other than okay. I think he got the hint that I just wanted to be quiet on our ride together. I walked to my class and I still was not all there. I walked into class late and told the group about my experience. I told them about my prayers and how I had told God that I loved him but I didn’t want to see him today. We all cracked up together. The sound of laughter began to ground me a bit. It took a while this morning to be present but I finally did so.

I had to fly back home and I felt so-so about it. The return flight was uneventful, thank God!

This experience just reminded me that even though I got the living daylights scared out of me that I needed to keep on “keeping on.” Driving home, I thought well if today had been my last day I would have been doing things I loved. I was traveling to one of my favorite cities in Texas (Austin) to learn about politics, a topic I love.

For some reason, this experience happened to me today. I don’t know why. I just know God gave me a wake up call today. Life can be and it is short.